Fred on a trip to Lick Observatory on Mt. Hamilton
We Begin a New Chapter
Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, both for the person who has it and for those who love him or her. A year ago, I never envisioned that the dogs and I would be living without Fred at this point. It was going to happen someday, but surely not yet.
Unfortunately, it has. Those who have been following our saga know that my husband Fred has been gradually declining. He fell in January, and went from hospital to rehab to an adult foster care home called Graceland. That was nearby in Newport. I could zoom up the hill anytime I wanted to see him. We could still go out for lunch, shopping, walks on the beach, or whatever. However, he was miserable. Folks there weren't equipped for his needs, and he slipped into deep depression. When he ran off by himself on May 26, it was obvious something had to change.
After an exhausting search for a more appropriate facility, I placed him in the Timberwood Court Memory Care Center, a nursing home in Albany, OR that specializes in dementia. Its staff is thoroughly trained to handle Alzheimer's patients. They offer constant daytime activities, weekly trips, delicious meals, on-site health care and many other services. A backlash is bound to come, but Fred was so happy to move in there. Hearing about his background in recreation, the activities staff immediately involved him in helping with their work, giving him a purpose for his days. He's making new friends and doing better than he has for a long time. It's almost two hours away from where I live, but if he's happy and well cared for, I'll just make the drive as often as I can.
Fred would welcome visitors or mail. You can find him at Timberwood Court, 2875 SE 14th Ave., Albany, OR 97322. Visiting hours are anytime during waking hours. I will have a private phone installed, but I haven't gotten to that yet.
For myself, I'm trying to figure out how to live single even though I'm still married, and we're still in love. My work has picked up speed, just when I need it, and my friends and family have been wonderfully supportive. Thank you all for your prayers and hugs and for letting me cry on your shoulders. God has a plan, and I have to let go.
We're both starting a new chapter of our lives, physically separate but soul mates forever.
The Adventures of Chico and Annie
Okay, so we built a six-foot fence to keep Chico in, laid a slab of concrete down to keep the puppies from turning into mudballs and got the carpets cleaned. Problems solved, yes? Uh, no. Chico found a way out of that fence in a little opening between the post and the wall. Up and over, no problem. Annie and I were back to chasing him around the neighborhood, watching him fly by, as if to say, "Hi, Mom, I'm having a great time." Grr. Hello, Mr. Fence Man, he got out of the fence you promised no dog could escape. Another post was added.
Chico is still getting out though. When I let him into the big yard, if I turn my back for a second, he's up and over again. He's getting to know the neighbors quite well. I thought he wouldn't leave after sunset. I warned him I wouldn't come looking for him if he did—how do you see a black dog in the dark?—but the other night, he fooled me. There I was with my flashlight calling, "Chico, come. Here, boy. I've got cookies." Etc. Jumping Jack Flash is grounded until further notice.
And somebody's having accidents on the carpet. Meanwhile, Annie, the blonde princess who can't jump as high but pretends to be afraid of nothing, discovered thunder the other day. Suddenly she was trembling under my desk. Chico, the amazing jumping dog, just enjoyed the light show.
They'll be 16 months old on the 16th of June. Every month achieved is a wonder, but they're great friends when I need someone to snuggle with.
What I'm up to
On the writing side, my last Everything But Writing column, "Everybody Wants to Teach You to Write," is currently online at The Scriptorium. I'm happy to report that Nexus has accepted one of my poems, to be appear online shortly. Also, the publishers of the Newport News Times are starting an airline magazine for SeaPort Airlines, which is now flying from Newport and Astoria, Oregon to Portland, as well as to Seattle and Pendleton. I'm working on some stories and helping to recruit a few skilled magazine writers to cover the areas I don't want to drive to. Email me for info.
Musically, I'm playing for a lot of Masses at Sacred Heart Church these next couple months as the other maestras take their vacations, so I'm going to be extra holy by fall. I'm also playing at the Toledo Street Fair in Toledo, Oregon at noon on June 24 and at the Samaritan House Garden Tour on June 28. Visit the web site to find out how to get tickets. Your ticket will show you which garden I'll be filling with music.
I'm also tentatively scheduled to attend the California Coast Music Camp in July—although it's not on the coast anymore; it's in the Gold Country. CCMC offers a whole week of classes, jamming and performing. I have attended four times before, and it was always fantastic. There are two one-week sessions, and they still have openings for both. Check the CCMC website, pick your week and sign up. If you do, mention me. I'll receive a gift for making the referral. Thanks.
Oregon Coast writing events
The Oregon Coast chapter of Willamette Writers welcomed poet Sage Cohen for a workshop on June 2. We had a good time mining our inner poets for ideas. The next meeting, July 7, will feature a panel on self-publishing books. I'm on the panel. Stay tuned for the other speakers. In August, we plan an open mic for one and all. The meetings take place at the Newport library. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. for set-up and socializing, and the program begins at 7. Admission is free, no reservations required. Contact me at suelick@casco.net or Dorothy Mack at dmack@centurytel.net for more information.
Meanwhile, Writers on the Edge will present commercial fisherman and author Spike Walker at the June 20 edition of the Nye Beach Writers Series. Walker's works focus on the pleasures and perils of fishing the Alaskan coast. He was featured in the Discovery Channel mini-series "After the Catch." The 7 p.m. program at the Newport Visual Arts Center will conclude with an open mic. Ten writers get five minutes to share their original work. Admission is $5.
In July, the Nye Beach Writers Series hosts songwriter Craig Carothers. Same place and time, but because a sell-out crowd is expected, folks are encouraged to buy tickets in advance for $10 each. At the door, admission will be $12, and you may have trouble finding a seat. Check the Writers on the Edge web site for more information or to buy tickets.
Book Report
A Brief History of Time by Shaindel Beers, Salt Publishing, 2009. Beers' debut collection of poetry caught my eye with the title "Taking Back the Bra Drawer" and grabbed my heart with "Would You Know Me?" These poems are honest, clear and well-crafted. Beers occasionally goes into forms, particularly the sestina, but it's barely noticeable until you look back and realize that she has not only written a great poem but fit it into the complicated requirements of the form. Beers takes us through her childhood on the prairie, a failed marriage, a bout with cancer and so much more. I hope she becomes as known and respected as she deserves.
Sand in My Bra and other Misadventures, Jennifer L. Leo, editor,.Travelers' Tales, Inc., 2003. This anthology of humor by women writers is a kick. The title story is an account of one woman's experience at the wild and crazy Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert. We read other stories of problems with falling underwear, misunderstandings caused by language problems, how Ellen DeGeneres deals with her fear of flying (not well), Anne Lamott's affection for her "aunties"—her waddling derrieres—in a land of young, tight buns, and much more. One can count on the Travelers' Tales series for good writing, amusement and occasional inspiration.
A Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers, Colleen Sell, editor, Adams Media, 2007. For anyone who loves dogs, this anthology is like a box of assorted chocolates. Each essay is different and delicious. We read about dogs who save lives, who eat furniture, who are the most loyal friends the author ever had. The stories are entertaining, loving, and often funny. Even better, A Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers II is due out this month. Enjoy a box, er, book.
And a Movie Review
Iris is a book-based movie about writer Iris Murdoch, who died of Alzheimer's disease. I had put this one off a long time, thinking it would be horribly depressing, but no, it's a beautiful movie. Yes, AD ravages the lives of Murdoch and her husband, John, but it is so much more a story about love. The plot alternates between youth and old age. Kate Winslet is the young Iris, while Dame Judi Dench is the elderly Iris. Both do a fabulous job melting into the character. And Jim Broadbent as the husband portrays so truthfully the grief, exhaustion and love of the AD spouse. There are so many beautiful moments that I felt uplifted rather than sad. The movie is based on Bayley's book Elegy for Iris, a lovely memoir and tribute to his wife.
End notes
The pink rhodies, orange poppies and purple lupine are blooming, the salmonberries are fruiting, the grass is green, and the yard is full of robins. While it's hot inland, it's just right here on the coast, even if we do still have some sprinkles.
Happy birthday, Susie, Nila, Josh and everyone else adding a year this month. Congratulations on your graduation, Josh. Your musical talent grows more astounding every day.
Healing and health to our many friends who are struggling with illness and injury at this time.
Love to all,
Sue
All contents copyright 2009, Sue Fagalde Lick
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