Puppies Times Two? Are We Insane?
Annie and Chico at 7 weeks
Probably
Yes, dogs again. Sorry, but that's all I can think about these days. You see, Fred and I adopted two 7-week-old puppies last month, and it really feels as if we have two babies. Upon arrival, Chico and Annie were the same weight as human infants, had the same needs, and filled the same emptiness in my heart. And yes, go ahead and say what everyone else is saying: "Are you nuts?"
Possibly, but my father, my priest and my shrink think puppies are a great idea. They take our minds off all the sad things that have happened lately, far too many people dying or getting very sick, along with the economy crashing and the war going on forever. Puppies bring happiness. They make us laugh. They make us run. They make us roll around on the floor dodging puppy kisses. They're good therapy. They also fill the giant hole torn in our lives when we lost Sadie.
The Wednesday after we brought Chico and Annie home, my church choir surprised me with a puppy shower. I received baby blankets, dog treats, chew toys, balls, weewee pads, and lots of advice. There was a gorgeous white-frosted cake with big red flowers on it. This may sound totally nuts, but it felt as if I had gotten something I'd been waiting for all my life. I sat on the floor of the chapel opening presents and soaking it all in. Thank you all. I love you.
As assistant director, I was surprised that there had been a wave of e-mail that didn't include me. You sneaky singers.
In trying to figure out how to handle these two pups, I have been devouring dog-training books. See below for two reviews. There will be more. None of these books address how to deal with two puppies at once. Every time I get one under control, the other pops out. I'll be stashing one in the laundry room and realize the other is squatting on the carpet. "No! Outside, outside, outside!" Meanwhile the husband's standing around saying, "What should I do?"
"Grab a dog or get out of the way!"
I need to get control, preferably without screaming or having to lift these increasingly heavy dogs to get them where I want them to go. In his book Cesar's Story, TV's "Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan insists that people who treat their pups as child substitutes are going to end up with dogs that are ill-mannered, disobedient and possibly dangerous. Why? Because dogs don't need a mommy; they need a calm, assertive pack leader. They need exercise, discipline and affection, in that order. None of this cuddling and baby talk all day. If they haven't earned affection by their good behavior, we are supposed to snub them. That's hard to do when they're wailing or staring at you with those sweet brown eyes. But Cesar says if their human owner appears to be all emotion and no authority, dogs will assume she's not a strong leader, and they'll take over. We saw it happen with Halle Berry, the dog who lived with us for 13 crazy days, so I know he's right, but I am rarely calm and definitely not calmly assertive. I panic and wind up hollering things like "Quit biting me, you little brat." When I get too tired, I sit and cry. But at least I'm way bigger than they are.
I'm trying to follow the program. The dogs are in a crate near my desk right now, listening to oldies on the radio while I work. I'll let them out in an hour or so. All day long, it's work, dog, work, dog, work, dog. Once they go to bed at night, I leave them alone in their cozy bed in the laundry room, even though I'm finally done working and I really want to cuddle. Can't I just hold them and rock them once in a while before they get too big? Just a little?
Sometimes I think I may be starting to get a handle on this dog-mom-as-pack-leader business. Three weeks into it, we're falling into a routine. I feed them breakfast, take them out, stash them in the laundry room while I shower and have my breakfast, then we all dash down the hall to my office, where they munch their rawhide chews and fall asleep while I work. Every hour and a half or so we have to go out. I still pack one under each arm to carry them out because I don't trust them not to pee in the house, especially when they just woke up, but that's at least 27 pounds of dog now. It's a race between housetraining and dog growth.
Eventually they have lunch, they potty, Fred and I have lunch, and we all go back to work, stopping every hour or so for another potty break and playtime. We put their little leashes on and try to take them for a walk. Both are afraid to go far from the house, but they love the return trip. We run like hell, laughing and ignoring our ages and creaky joints. When it gets dark, they fall asleep for the night and peace finally reigns over the kingdom.
Back in the real world, I'm working on my chapter about the psychological effects of childlessness. If we don't become parents, are we perpetual children? Opinions vary, but I'm leaning toward yes. I think the puppies fall somewhere between the dolls I used to play with and the children I never had. They're kind of like toys, but they're also live creatures for which I'm responsible. And God help me, every friend who calls or visits gets called Auntie or Uncle so-and-so. My father is "Grandpa." I can't help myself.
As I was working on this newsletter, I finally received a book I had ordered about raising more than one dog at once. So what does the wise author advise in regard to adopting two puppies at once? DON'T DO IT.
Too late. As I read that page, I was holding a dog in each hand, trying to keep them from eating the book. I wouldn't give either of them up, even though they had both peed in the house a few minutes earlier, even though one of them bit a hole in the back of my favorite sweater while I had it on yesterday, even though they shredded their Weewee pads and sent fluffs of pee-soaked cotton all over the laundry room last night—after they had dug up the grass and spread mud all over, even though I get tired of staggering out of bed at dawn to walk around in my thongs in the wet grass urging them to "go potty." I love these little guys, especially when they're sleeping. Plus, I know someday (in a couple years) they will be housetrained, stop chewing everything in sight and become wonderful companions for each other and for me and Fred. Then we won't look so crazy. I hope.
Writing and stuff
Between puppy breaks, I'm slowly moving along with my Childless by Marriage book and its related blog (www.childlessbymarriage.blogspot.com). I'm also writing quite a bit of poetry and many journal entries about pups and such that might wind up in print someday. Meanwhile, I'm also blogging about freelancing at freelancing fornewspapers.blogspot.com, doing my Everything But Writing Column at The Scriptorium and offering a monthly newspaper freelance challenge at Writers on the Rise. I'm busy selling and publicizing books, too. Copies of Stories Grandma Never Told go out in the mail steadily, but I have plenty more if you're interested (see Books+), along with my Portuguese American romance novel Azorean Dreams. I'm giving workshops related to my Freelancing for Newspapers book at Oregon Coast Community College this month and at the upcoming East of Eden and Chattahoochee conferences.
Speaking of conferences, I'll also be at the Willamette Writers conference in August as the board rep for the coast chapter. Info goes online and brochures go into the mail early this month. Check it out. I'm also attending an online Catholic Writers Guild conference May 2-9, which should be fun. The conference itself is free, and you can attend from home.
Speaking of Catholics, I'm quite busy playing music at Sacred Heart Church these days. With one director busy with concerts and the other ailing, I'm plunking that piano a lot.
Coast Writing Events
The coast chapter of Willamette Writers continues to meet on the first Tuesday of each month at the Newport Library. The doors open at 6:30, admission is free, and I usually bring some great cookies. This month, Elizabeth Rausch will discuss writing for children and young adults. For those planning ahead, the June 3 speaker is Rebecca Harrison, who will tell us how she got the facts for her book on diving. See the WW website for info or contact Dorothy Mack if you want to be on the mailing list.
Writers on the Edge presents the Nye Beach Writers series on the third Saturday at the Newport Visual Arts Center. Admission is $5, free for students. The program starts at 7 with the featured speaker, followed by an open mic. There are 10 slots with a five-minute time limit. Work read must be original.This month Doug Thompson, author of Whales: Touching the Mystery, is our guest.
On the Musical Side . . .
The first weekend of May is Loyalty Days in Newport. On Saturday, we have a race in the morning and a big parade at noon. Saturday night, the Coastalaires barbershop chorus will present their annual spring concert at 7 p.m., with many guest groups on the program. Sunday afternoon, the Central Coast Chorale will feature works by famous American composers at their 4 p.m. concert. Call (541) 265-ARTS for info on either concert.
And no, I'm not performing that weekend, but you can catch me and a lot of great people at the 10:30 Mass at Sacred Heart Church. Good snacks afterward, too.
Book Report
Mary Modern by Camille DeAngelis, Shaye Areheart Books, 2007. Book club alert: This is a good one to read and discuss. I can't say much about it without giving away the plot. We have Lucy, a DNA researcher; Gray, a classics professor; an ancient house in which nothing has changed since early in the 20th century; five strange cult members boarding upstairs, and some spooky goings-on in the basement. The first 10 pages were so confusing I nearly quit the book, but I'm glad I kept reading because not much farther on, I realized what was going on. Oh my God. From then on, I read constantly to find out what was going to happen. One might call this a blend of science fiction, historical romance and mysticism. Siddhartha meets Rebecca meets Dracula? Even if you never read spooky books, try this one.
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, Viking, 2006. The folks in my yoga class said this book was good, and it is, especially if one is interested in yoga, meditation and other spiritual pursuits. But that's only one part of the book. In this three-part true story, Gilbert takes us on journeys to Italy, where her main goal is to eat wonderful Italian food and learn the Italian language; to India, where she lives at an Ashram seeking peace and unity with the ultimate power; and to Indonesia, where she works with two different traditional healers, makes a lifelong friend and ultimately falls in love. It is a beautiful and inspiring book in which she shows how she went from hitting bottom after her divorce to finding the peace and balance in her life that she was seeking. As bonuses, we learn about each country and its culture, get new insights into meditation, and perhaps find ourselves learning some lessons we can apply to our own lives.
Before and After Getting Your Puppy by Dr. Ian Dunbar, New World Library, 2004. Amy Tan is quoted on the back cover of this book as saying that if a new puppy owner buys just one book, this should be it. She's right. Dunbar has laid it out so clearly that anyone could understand and remember what they're supposed to do. Of course he starts with how to pick out the perfect puppy, and we had already done that (times two) before we got the book, but there's still plenty to work on: housetraining, feeding, bite inhibition, getting them to chew only what they're supposed to, finding puppy classes, training and rewards, and how to deal with dog adolescence, which is apparently as bad as human adolescence. It seems dog training has changed from the days when we were taught to jerk on a choke chain. Now it's crates and rewards, much kinder. Everything is written so clearly and encouragingly that the most nervous new puppy mom will feel that she really can turn these little poop machines into well-behaved dogs. It includes an extensive reference list, including many of Dunbar's own books and videos, and pages of charts to keep track of everything you do with the puppy. Hard-bound, it's a well-spent $19.95.
Cesar's Way by Cesar Millan with Melissa Jo Peltier, Three Rivers Press, 2006. TV's "Dog Whisperer" offers his story and his philosophy in this unique look at the relationship between people and dogs. Millan is often called upon to rehabilitate dogs that their owners can't handle—big dogs, killer dogs, dogs that won't behave. It's the dog's fault only about 1 percent of the time. It's the owners who fail their jobs as calm, assertive pack leaders. They don't provide enough exercise or discipline, they seem too weak to lead the pack, and the dogs take over. Although this book causes me considerable worry about my ability to be calm and assertive 24/7(about as likely as becoming a skinny blonde), it is beautifully written and makes so much sense. Millan, who runs and rollerblades in front of a pack of 35 to 40 unleashed dogs every day, grew up on a farm in Mexico, where nobody spoiled their dogs, and the dogs behaved. He goes back to the way dogs and their wolf ancestors live in nature for the secrets to well-behaved pets. Cesar's Way does not go into specific training activities such as learning to sit, stay, or heel, but he does offer some practical advice for things like walking, traveling, and introducing dogs to a new home or new people. The book includes a useful glossary, notes and resource list. It's good to keep Millan's philosophy in mind while perhaps turning to other trainers and other authors for training specifics.
*****
That's about it. We lost my Uncle Don March 31, and we will miss him terribly, along with Aunt Genevieve who died at the end of 2006. I'll be flying south this month for a Celebration of Life for both of them, and I wish all their loved ones comfort at this difficult time. April 30th would have been Mom Lick's 91st birthday. And May 1 is my father's 86th. Happy birthday, Dad. Fred and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary on May 18. So happy May to all.
It's still raining a lot here in South Beach, but the rhodies are starting to bloom, so we know it really is spring. When it gets too hot wherever you are, come for a visit. Meet the puppies. Don't forget your raincoat. And your hat. And your gloves. Seriously.
Hugs,
Sue
All contents copyright 2008 Sue Fagalde Lick.
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