Never Try to Outrun a Dog
This is not going to be my usual happy story. My husband Fred fell on Jan. 22, wound up going to emergency three times, twice by ambulance, and spent two days in the hospital before being transferred to Newport Rehabilitation Center. From there, it looks like he will be moving to a nursing home or adult foster care home. He injured his back in the fall and additional back problems were discovered in the subsequent CT exam.
Normally he could heal at home, but there's another problem. For those who wonder why I read and write so much about Alzheimer's Disease, he suffers from that condition and is now at the end of the middle stage. Experts keep telling me he needs to be supervised 24 hours a day, something I cannot do here at home. We are looking at various options, but right now the care home seems to offer the best choice for him and for me.
Sadly, he was walking and moving around just fine the day before he fell. I never imagined a doctor would be telling me he needs a walker and a wheelchair and 24-hour care, at least not for a couple years, even though his cognitive abilities have been decreasing daily. But maybe this is God's way of taking some of the burden off my shoulders and getting many more people involved.
Speaking of which, our friends have been fantastic through this, and I am grateful to every one of you for your love, assistance and prayers. Keep 'em up. If you live nearby, the biggest help now would be to visit Fred. Spend time with him so I can take care of the legal and financial aspects of his situation, as well as my own work and home responsibilities.
So, how did this fall happen? Dogs. "Damned dogs" as Fred muttered for the first couple days before he forgot how he fell. Chico and Annie escaped from the back yard and Fred was trying to corral them when he tripped on an uneven bit of sidewalk in front of our house. I had been running errands and drove up to find him bent over, saying, "I'm hurt." And so the hospital trips began.
What about the dogs? Chico was already in the back yard, and Annie came right to me when I parked the car in the driveway, so they're fine but confused as to why the Big Dog isn't home.
As I told Fred at the hospital, you can't outrun a dog, especially one as young and fast as Annie. Plus, when you run after a dog, she thinks you're playing and runs even faster. You can never outrun 'em; you have to outsmart 'em.
So, life is changing drastically. I'm a bit like a deer staring into the headlights at this point. If I'm not at the rehab facility, I'm on the phone trying to take care of business or do just one other thing, like get air in my car's half-flat tires. But I may soon have a more relaxed schedule than I have had in years, and Fred will have better care than I can give him. It's horribly sad to lose one's partner this way, but I'm trying hard to live in the moment and let go of the things I cannot control.
Chico and his buddy Fred share a moment last month.
The Adventures of Chico and Annie
Of course you just read about one of their biggest adventures. They slipped out the gate and ran circles through the neighbor's yard across the street, Annie galloping through the ivy and exploring all the fun tools in Pat's workshop while Chico just ran circles. Tiring of that and perhaps miffed because I was not there to take them for a walk, they decided to take their own walk down 97th Court to Birch Street, where they turned right.
Somewhere around the house where the crab fisherman has nets piled up in front of the house most of the year, Fred and the fisherman tried to lasso them with boating rope. But Annie is sly. She slipped out of the rope and ran some more. Oh, so much to explore, leaves, trash, and grass to sniff, other dogs to visit, children to play with, and Fred running after her, playing this fun game.
Fred says Annie sat with him for a while after he fell, but then the call of the wilderness pulled her away. She's still young. The dogs will be a year old on Feb. 16, God willing.
It wasn't the first time they got out last month. Another time, we had the neighbors trying to grab them, too. It was like a big game of keep-away. Paula across the street lured them into the back yard with half-frozen hot dogs. Alas, the doors into and out of the garage were still open and they escaped again. We caught them on about the fifth try. They resumed their places on the big chair by the window and fell asleep, legs all tangled up together, Chico snoring and Annie's feet paddling in her dreams.
Our lessons this month will stress coming when we call them.
Damage report:
1 bromine feeder from the hot tub, which is empty and covered with plywood because they destroyed the cover last year.
1 pair of reading glasses (see photo)Half a salad covered with honey mustard dressing1 entire garden hose cut into sections varying from one inch to one foot1 favorite black sock1 dish scraper pad1 mint-flavored tennis ballThey also somehow lost one ID tag, one rabies tag and one microchip tagOh well. At least they're finally housetrained. It's quite a sight watching them pee in tandem. A friend says she's got four dogs that do the same thing. I'd love a photo.
Chico says, "Annie did it." She did. I pulled the lens out of her mouth.
Writing news
I've got a piece called "Journey to Damascus" online at the Oregon150 website. All Oregonians are invited to submit work of 500 words or less in any genre about their Oregon experience. See the website for guidelines.
The first Blue Hydrangea Productions printing of Stories Grandma Never Told sold out this month. A new printing was completed on Jan. 20. So I have lots of fresh copies, plus some older slightly imperfect ones at a discount. See Books+ for details.
In addition to working on my childless book, writing poetry and making lots of journal entries, I have kept up my three blogs, Freelancing for Newspapers, Childless by Marriage and Unleashed in Oregon. I'm having a lot of fun with "Unleashed." Recent topics include: the Burnt Woods Cafe, singing with a lozange stuck to my teeth, and the joys of a BLTA and fries. Click on the "Unleashed Blog" button at left above to read these postings.
I'm teaching at the Catholic Writers Conference Online Feb. 2-9. You don't have to be Catholic to participate in this great conference, which is free. That's right, free, although donations are appreciated. I'll be teaching "Everything But Writing," all those things a writer needs to know that aren't just putting words together.
Writer events on the Oregon coast
Samantha Ducloux Waltz, one of my co-contributors to A Cup of Comfort for Families Living with Alzheimer's will be our guest speaker at the Coast branch of Willamette Writers Feb. 3. She'll talk about how to write and publish personal essays. If you come, expect to do some writing. The meeting is free, no reservations needed. Doors open at 6:30, the program starts at 7, and there will be cookies and coffee.
Our William Stafford birthday celebration Jan. 20 competed with the Obama inaguration coverage and lost. All three of us enjoyed listening to a tape of Stafford's last reading and shared our favorite Stafford poems. We had great snacks and a wonderful time.
February 14, 2009 marks the 150th birthday of the State of Oregon. In celebration, several local writers included in Citadel of the Spirit: Oregon's Sesquicentennial Anthology edited by local writer Matt Love will be the featured authors of the Nye Beach Writers' Series event held that night. The program at the Newport Visual Arts Center begins at 7 p.m. Admission is $5.
Book Report
Birds in Fall by Brad Kessler, Scribner's, 2006. A plane crashes near a tiny Nova Scotia Island. The families gather at a bed and breakfast inn to await word about their loved ones. Much of the story centers around Ana Gathreaux, a bird migration expert. Her husband Russell, also a bird scientist, was on the plane. The theme of birds and their habits is woven throughout the book, along with a hint of the Icarus myth about the boy who made himself a pair of wings and tried to fly. But more fascinating are the people we meet. They are not clichés, although they represent various segments of society. We have a Chinese couple who lost their daughter, an Iranian man who lost his niece, a pair of Dutch teens whose parents were on the plane, a Bulgarian concert pianist, an Italian couple from Boston, and a woman who believes in ghosts and chants. We also have Kevin and Douglas, owners of the inn, who struggle with their own relationship in the midst of the chaos that comes with being at the heart of a crash site. Kessler, one of my Antioch professors and author of the also wonderful Lick Creek, uses his research well, and makes his story so real that it's difficult to stop reading from the first sentence to the last.
The Green Book by Elizabeth Rogers and Thomas M. Kostigen,, Three Rivers Press, 2007. This is a heck of a reference book full of tips on how to go easier on the earth in every aspect of our lives. One to keep handy.
The Shack by William P. Young, Windblown Media, 2007. People either rave about this book or hate it. All I know is I've never read anything like it and I couldn't stop reading it until I finished. I can't say much without giving away the plot. However, protagonist Mack experiences a terrible loss and goes into a long depression. A letter arrives which sends him on a journey in which he meets God, but not God as any of us usually picture Him/Her. The Father aka Papa is a black woman, Jesus is an Arab man and the Holy Spirit aka Sarayu is this floating phantasm of colors and impressions. They are separate yet one, all-knowing, all-powerful and all-loving. Is it fantasy? A revelation? Or just God as we wish God to be? It's up to the reader to decide. Fundamentalists will either condemn it as blasphemy or embrace it as The Word. Atheists may toss it as garbage. Literary critics may blanch at the writer's style, but most people I know don't care about that; many say it has changed their lives. It certainly has me thinking about life, religion, God, relationships and all that. I love the fact that it is so different from most of the books on the market. That alone makes it special.
The Alzheimer's Advisor: A Caregiver's Guide to Dealing with the Tough Legal and Practical Issues by James E. Vaughn, AMACOM, 2009. James, a lawyer and law professor who has dealt with Alzheimer's in his family, offers to clear up all the legal issues, things like guardianship, advanced directives, powers of attorney, etc. He touches on all of these, but alas, it's just a touch, far too general, with too much emphasis on people caring for parents and other elderly relatives. For those caregivers just starting out and worrying about their parents, grandparents or aunts and uncles, this book may be helpful. But not for me. Although Vaughn cites statistics showing that spouses are the largest group of caregivers, he barely gives us a nod, so I am still looking for that book that tells me, the wife, what to do.
End Notes
That's all for now. I'm behind on everything, so be patient with me. Happy birthday to my cousin Chris and everyone else born in February. We have had snow, rain, wind and sun. My tulip bulbs are sprouting and the robins, woodpeckers and varied thrushes are back in the yard. If they have hope, we must, too.
Hugs to all,
Sue
All contents copyright 2009, Sue Fagalde Lick, except mug shot courtesy Teresa Grady
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